Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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