Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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