sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
