Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
