he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
