This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
