I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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