omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize