I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
