What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
