take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
