if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
