apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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