So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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