i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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