I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
