At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I need water and some morals
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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