Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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