Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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