Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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