My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
