i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
