brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize