i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My hand turned me down
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
