what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
