They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
