the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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