My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize