Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
