he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
