The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
