gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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