You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
