I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
