im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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