Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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