yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
