it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
