Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
