Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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