Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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