It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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