And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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