Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
