We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
