Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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