At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
