that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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