she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize