i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
