Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
