I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
