Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
