Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
