but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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