he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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