didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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