Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize