At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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