I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The uberlube is also flammable
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
