Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
