That's intense
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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